Statues are generally known for their stoicism. They are — for the most part — blank-faced, unmoving (thank goodness) and trapped in a noble pose forever. But when you add live humans to the mix, things tend to take a turn for the hilarious, awesome and violent. Yeah, mostly violent. Check it out.

No, Ronald, no!

Man, for inanimate objects, some of these statues are pretty violent.

Aww, what a cute litt-AHH.

The statue claims another victim.

Back off, lady! He’s mine!

While this scene doesn’t include a human prop, you’ve gotta admit, the addition of the razor changes the entire feel of this manly statue.

Hey, is something untoward going on here?

He may be able to do whatever a spider can, but he can’t escape the clutches of an angry statue.

All the single ladies! All the single ladies!

This man is the winner of life. Everybody go home now.