I know better than anyone that Pinterest is a crazy addictive time-suck full of amazing DIY projects that’ll make even the most uncrafty person want to buy a hundred Mason jars and take up basketweaving.

But I also know that just because you can make something by hand doesn’t mean you should. Not just because a project that looks incredible on Pinterest might turn out terribly in real life, but because some of the stuff on the site is totally whack. Some things just aren’t meant to be recycled, upcycled or DIY’d.

Case in point: the crazy Pinterest projects cataloged by the good people at Pinterest, You Are Drunk. Nobody needs any of these things. Back away from your computer now.

Peekaboo jorts

These are made worse by the fact that you know you couldn’t wear them without going commando.

Crutches lamp

Have you ever had to use crutches for an extended period of time? Those things get sweaty, dirty and disgusting. You don’t want to add heat to that mix.

Cat friendship bracelet

No cat is going to wear a friendship bracelet. It’s just not happening.

Prescription bottle Christmas lights

There are a lot of good ways to put your old prescription bottles to good use. This is not one of them.

Glitterized pantyhose

There’s a reason they call glitter the herpes of the craft world. Put it all over your pantyhose and I guarantee you’re never getting invited anywhere ever again.

Barbie boob heart necklaces

Whyyyyyy.

Scrapbook page about special relationship with iPhone

This is not OK.

Flowers in a rubber glove

Does anyone else find this deeply unsettling?

Bird’s nest hairdo

Add birds. Repeat.

Baby head candle holders

Perfect for your next baby shower or ritual sacrifice!