Digital Life
Amanda Pendolino
August 20, 2013

‘Bangable Dudes in History’ Will Get You Excited for Hot Dead Men

Some of the hottest guys are dead.

Bangable Dudes in History, my new favorite website, claims to be “dead man porn for your still-beating heart.” Alongside photos of historical figures like Robert Cornelius (an American chemist and pioneer in photography) and Lewis Powell (a would-be assassin), author Megan provides a pie chart that explains each dude’s bangability, from dating-profile-esque qualities (“cared for sick animals!”) to unique historical accomplishments (“survived two assassination attempts!”).

Their mustaches and brooding stares might be things you’d find among today’s eligible bachelors, but their resumes are not. Did you know that inventor and engineer Nikola Tesla was besties with Mark Twain? They just don’t make them like they used to, ladies.

As much as I love Ryan Gosling’s complete takeover of the Internet, I’m excited about another space offering too-perfect men, or as the site calls them, historic boners. Men can’t disappoint you when they’re already dead, right?

For the straight gents and lesbians, Bangable Dudes in History also provides photos and info about hot women in history, such as Girl Scout Founder Juliette Gordon Low, who separated from her husband in 1902 (1902!) and still went on to be a great success  — suck it, patriarchy!  Whether you agree she’s super hot is another matter, but I appreciate the equal-opportunity appreciation.

Which bangable dude in history is your fave? I’m not gonna lie — brooding Lewis Powell is totally doing it for me.