Ann Wong
July 15, 2013

Crazy-Ass Shoes You Wouldn’t Dare Wear

For most of us, fashion is about emulating a popular style. But for some people, it’s about standing out and being unique — sometimes to the point of ridiculousness.

Take Lady Gaga‘s meat dress and matching meat shoes, for example. They certainly turned some heads, and Gaga continues to use her offbeat fashion sense to shock and offend every chance she gets.

Of course, Lady Gaga can get away with wearing whatever outfit or shoes she wants because we’ve come to expect it from her now. (And she’s Mother Monster — I mean, geez.)

But as you scroll down and see some of these crazy ass shoes, you’ll definitely wonder what kind of person could pull them off — and who would want to.

1. Under the sea

To score these one of-a-kind oceanic heels, this lady went for a deep-sea shopping trip.

2. Eight-legged freak

There are two-legged animals and four-legged animals, but this lady wanted to beat them all by opting for eight. (Or 10, depending on how you want to call it.)

Instead of Kate Plus 8, she could do a reality show called Crazy Lady with 2 Perfectly Good Legs Plus 8.

3. Drop dead gor … uh … interesting

German designer Iris Schieferstein claims she gets all her “materials” (dead animal carcasses) from a butcher. These are a great option for those who want to evolve into a centaur with terrible fashion sense.

4. Stylishly snake-like

If you want to fit into Slytherin House at Hogwarts, you could slither in with these shoes by Alexander McQueen.

5. Woof, woof

My dog will do the following if I wear these: bark, sniff, attack and hump one shoe. Repeat on the other.

6. Always on point

I suspect she can only be in a sitting position in these awkward heels. If she stands up I can’t possibly see how she can keep herself from falling flat on her face.



7. These shoes are making me hungry

What if someone mistakes these stilettos for real spaghetti? And if they do, how will I run away from a hungry person while I’m wearing these?

Photo credit:  SoleSensations on Etsy

Photo credit: SoleSensations on Etsy

8.Under my umbrella-ella-ella

Does she really think those little umbrellas will keep her shoes from getting wet?

9. Bananarama

Let’s just eat the banana so we can wear the peel.