My Story: Catering to My Man Makes Me Happy
I grew up in a family where both parents worked outside the home. Nevertheless, it was a rather traditional upbringing in suburban Canada. My mom was in the kitchen every day, and my dad, well, he came home and drank beer. I was the only girl with three brothers. I couldn’t tell you if my mom enjoyed taking care of us and my dad. She rarely complained but never admitted she was happy to do it either. Being an Asian wife, I guess she felt it was just part of her duty.
I was raised to be smart, strong and independent — and at the same time, traditional, sweet, girly and soft. So when I settled down with a man, it was natural for me to want to take care of him.
I remember during the first six months of our relationship my mother would call me in the evenings and asked what I cooked for him. It made her happy to hear that I was doing these things — the cooking and cleaning — and honestly, it made me super happy too.
Every morning, I woke up early to make him breakfast and pack his lunch. After long hours of working at the bank, I cooked dinner and did all the cleaning. I would greet him with a glass of orange juice, without him even asking, because it made him smile. I hemmed his pants or folded the laundry while we watched TV on the couch together. Not once did I raise my voice or swear at him. I didn’t do these things because I felt it was my duty. I just loved making him happy, because it made me happy.
None of my girlfriends thought it was a healthy relationship. Apparently, I wasn’t a 21st-century woman and I stood against everything the women’s rights movement has been fighting for. They mocked me and called me the The Robot. It was the age of girl power and in their eyes, I had none. To them, a solid relationship is when everything is 50/50. To me, a solid relationship means both parties are happy, even if that looks like 30/70 or 100/100.
No, I don’t hate feminism. I’m a tough, confident and intelligent woman. I’m also proud to say I love catering to my man, both in and out of the bedroom. Deal with it.