New Tumblr Lays Bare the Sad Lives of Boys Who Want You to Make Them a Sandwich
“Make me a sandwich, bitch,” and all its myriad permutations — like “Bitch, make me a sandwich,” or “Prithee, bequeath upon me a sandwich, bitch” — is a lazy non-joke used by boys trying to prove their manliness to other men or appear funny by parroting something they heard on Family Guy. It’s so overused and unfunny that it’s not even amusing in an ironic, look-at-me-I’m-pretending-to-be-one-of-those-guys-who-disrespects-women way.
Dudes, here’s your free advice for the day: Never suggest a real or figurative bitch prepare a sandwich for you. Nothing makes the metaphorical gates that are a woman’s thighs slam shut faster. (If that metaphor’s too tough for you, it means she’s not gonna let you put your penis in her, broseph.)
You know why? Because if you trot out that tired phrase, you’re putting yourself in the same camp as the fine young gentlemen profiled on a new Tumblr called Make Me a Sandwich Bitch. This delightful Tumblr manages to make “bitch, make me a sandwich” funny again by looking into the sad lives of the boys who say it on Twitter.
The result is in no way illuminating, but it will definitely validate your long-held belief that Internet dudes who have no better insults than “make me a sandwich, bitch,” are, in fact, either children or exceedingly dumb.
Read it, chuckle to yourself and then make yourself a sandwich, because sandwiches are way more delicious with a side of douche chills.