Nokyoung Xayasane
May 14, 2013

Rich Parents Allegedly Use Disabled Guides to Cut Lines at Disney World

Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. Kids and their parents flock to the magical place in droves. Unfortunately, because of the popularity of all the amazing rides, there are gigantic lines that everyone has to wait in.

Everyone except super rich Manhattan parents and their kids, says social anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin.

According to Martin, certain Manhattan parents have been using disabled tour guides to beat the Disney World lines. The black-market Disney guides cost around $130 an hour — that’s $1,040 for an eight-hour day — and they’re allegedly hired out by a man named Ryan Clement. The prices are way cheaper than Disney’s officially sanctioned $300-an-hour VIP Tour Package.

“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” said one rich and soulless mother who purchased the service for her family.

The guide apparently escorted the mom, her two kids and her husband around the Magic Kingdom while riding on a motorized scooter with a handicapped sign. It’s unclear if the family’s Disney World escort was actually handicapped, but sources say the guide may be Clement’s girlfriend Jacie Christiano.

Ugh, do these people have no shame?

Clement denies all the allegations and says his girlfriend, who has an autoimmune disorder, has never used her disability to cheat the system.

For all that’s good and awesome about Disney World, we hope these allegation are make-believe.