5 Ways to Celebrate International Clitoris Awareness Week
Happy International Clitoris Awareness Week! From May 6 to 12, Clitoraid, a non-profit group that helps victims of female genital mutilation have their clitorises surgically rebuilt, is encouraging women to embrace their sexuality.
Conveniently, May is also National Masturbation Month, so it looks like this week is the perfect time to get intimately familiar with your little lady.
Although Clitoraid was formed to support a very serious cause, spokeswoman Nadine Gary explains that International Clitoris Awareness Week is meant to be a lighthearted way to call attention to a body part that doesn’t get nearly enough of it.
“The clitoris doesn’t have a reproductive function so it can be minimized,” she told the Huffington Post. “We want to point it out and talk about it. Maybe some women will go to masturbation seminars.”
Celebrating International Clitoris Awareness Week is easy. Are you aware of your clitoris? Then you’ve already done it. But hey, if you wanna really get into the spirit of this wonderful week of celebration, I’ve taken the liberty of coming up with a few things you can do:
Shake hands with the man in the boat
This one’s pretty obvious. It’s National Masturbation Month. It’s International Clitoris Awareness Week. You know what to do, ladies. This week — who am I kidding, every week — is the perfect time to treat yourself to a shiny new vibrator (or the sex toy of your choice!) and go to town. Pleasure town.
Introduce someone else to the man in the boat
Your clitoris is way too awesome to keep it all to yourself. Take some time this week to teach someone else — a boyfriend, a sex buddy, a curious pal – how to make you feel good. What better way to become more aware of your clitoris than to teach someone else about it? Who knows, maybe during the process, you’ll learn something yourself.
Come up with a better euphemism for clitoris
It’s shockingly difficult to find a good euphemism specifically for the clitoris. There are tons for the vagina/vulva in general, but a scant few for the clit. I can only think of two: the man in the boat, and another one that’s way too vulgar for me to slip by my editor.
Why is it a man? Why can’t it be a lady in the boat? It doesn’t even really look like a boat down there anyway. We can do better, gals. Please leave your awesome new euphemisms in the comments for us all to enjoy.
Listen to Gilbert Gottfried say “clitoris”
Here’s Gilbert Gottfried reading some very NSFW passages from 50 Shades of Grey. Oh my god, the way he says clitoris (“Cli-TOR-is!”) is just magical — and yet somehow, not a turn-on.
Donate to Clitoraid
Clitoraid needs $100,000 to complete the building of its “Pleasure Hospital,” located in Burkina Faso, West Africa. The hospital, slated to open in October 2013 if its donation goals are reached, will provide free reconstructive surgeries to victims of female genital mutilation and empower them to take charge of their sexual pleasure. It’s a truly worthy cause.