Kilt-Wearing May Improve Sperm Quality, Make Men Manlier
There’s nothing like a good-looking man confidently rocking a kilt. Am I right, ladies?
If you’re not convinced, feast your eyes on this picture of Ewan McGregor wearing a kilt.
Yeah, I told you.
And according to a study published in the Scottish Medical Journal titled “Real Men Wear Kilts,” not only do kilt-wearing dudes automatically get kicked up a few notches on the hotness scale, they also reap the benefits of feeling manlier and having better quality sperm. That is, if they wear the kilt in the traditional way: sans underpants.
Some evidence suggests sperm quality and quantity have declined over the past 50 years, especially in the industrialized world. While there are lots of factors that may be contributing to this (environmental factors, laptops, Taquitos), it may also have something to do with the growing popularity of tightly fitted pants.
Damn you, skinny jeans! Why must a garment that makes a man’s butt look so good be so bad for his ability to procreate?!
The reason tight pants have a negative impact on a guy’s little swimmers is that they raise the temperature of his testicles. Average body temperature hovers around 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, but proper sperm production requires a temperature around 93 degrees, reports NBCNews.com.
The body regulates testicle temperature by letting them hang away from it – but with tight jeans and tighty-whiteys keeping them tucked up nice and snug, they get too warm, which can result in the production of substandard sperm.
According to Dutch researcher Erwin Kompanje, who authored “Real Men Wear Kilts,” the solution is for more men to don kilts and let the boys enjoy the freedom to swing low, unencumbered by constricting garments.
“Kilt wearing likely produces an ideal physiological scrotal environment, which in turn helps maintain normal scrotal temperature, which is known to be beneficial for robust spermotaogenesis (sperm production) and good sperm quality,” he told Daily Mail Health.
Sure, a guy could probably get the same effect by wearing sweatpants and going commando, but then he’d miss out on some other important benefits of kilt-wearing: attention from the ladies, and feeling manly as heck.
“Wearing a kilt has strong psychological benefits,” says Kompanje in the study. “A kilt will get you noticed no matter where you are. Research indicates that men wearing a kilt experience a strong sense of freedom and masculinity … The kilt gives a man a sensuous awareness of his own body and how it will be seen by others.”
Plus, a kilt-wearing dude might get more opportunities to uh, test out his more rugged sperm:
“Many women are attracted to men in kilts,” Kompanje wrote.
Unfortunately, as an article from NHS.uk points out, that statement is based on Kompanje’s personal experience and isn’t verified by any scientific evidence whatsoever. Perhaps some real-world experiments should be conducted. I’d be happy to volunteer my services as a researcher.