You wanna know why so many male rape victims are hesitant to publicly speak about or even report their assault — particularly when the perpetrator is a woman? Because of stuff like this.

Four women are currently wanted in Canada over the alleged rape of a 19-year-old Toronto man. The man told police the women offered him a ride home from a club, but when he took them up on the offer, they drove him to a parking lot and sexually assaulted him.

When this story hit the news, the Internet’s reaction was swift and — to say the least — disturbing. Here’s just a small sampling of tweets, collected by Eric Mark Do, that exemplify the flippant response of many commenters:

@notoriousnewby man was sexually assaulted by four girls and didnt like it?! ?!?

— iAMKING (@abrownkerr) April 8, 2013

*hears that a man got sexually assaulted by 4 women* (laughs) *goes to hell*

— Courtney Hubbard (@C0urtneyHubbard) April 7, 2013

HAHAHAHA!! Man sexually assaulted by 4 women after leaving club cp24.com/news/man-sexua…

— Sykes (@Syke54) April 7, 2013

When we talk about rape and sexual assault, the conversation is usually focused on female victims — which makes sense, since by all accounts, there are more of them. But, as this story proves, men get raped too. And when they do, society often responds, not with horror or anger, but with flippancy, mockery and scorn.

Men, in our effed-up cultural narrative, are both strong and sex-crazed — and always in control of their own bodies. Masculinity is strength, but to be raped is to be weak and feminine. Therefore, men can’t be raped and certainly not by women. If a man has sex, it’s because he wanted it — or should’ve wanted it, since a man will eagerly accept any sex that’s offered to him. And if for some reason he didn’t, which is only acceptable if his attackers are men or unattractive women, he’d have fought them off. Anything else goes against what it means to be a man.

But that’s not how it works in real life. Men can be drugged against their will, or coerced while too drunk to consent, or overpowered — just like women can. They can be raped by other men and by women, attractive or not. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we’ll be able to treat the experiences of men who have been raped with the seriousness they deserve.