Charlotte Hannah
March 22, 2013

Man Tries to Impress Date With Fake Knife Attack, Fails

Photo credit: Unknown

Jeffery Tyler Siegel was quite smitten with his prospective girlfriend, and wanted nothing more than to impress her. To win her heart, he planned a dream date, complete with all the things women generally want in a romantic evening – things like an idyllic moonlit stroll through a nature center … and a terrifying attack by a knife-wielding madman. You know, just your typical date stuff.

In the 26-year-old’s mind, saving his date from an attacker would be the perfect way to make her fall in love with him. It’s kind of like how those pickup artist guys say to take a woman to ride roller coasters on the first date because she’ll interpret her pounding heart as attraction – except, like, super insane.

So, Siegel secretly arranged a fake knife attack with a friend. KAIT-TV reports that several minutes into his and his lady love’s  nighttime stroll through Crowley’s Ridge Nature Center, a knife wielding figure emerged from the darkness.

“You can go, but your girlfriend stays,” said the madman to Siegel.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go according to Siegel’s half-baked plan. Rather than transforming a trembling, feminine flower (“Please saaaaave me, Jeffery, you big, strong man!”), his date disobeyed the madman’s orders and booked it right out of there, leaving Siegel to “handle” the “situation” while she called the police.

And “handle” it he did. After a brief “struggle,” during which he “received” several minor knife wounds, Siegel emerged “victorious.” He claimed he kneed the man in the stomach — though when the police arrived, they found it rather curious that the armed attacker was nowhere to be found. That, coupled with the fact that his date told cops he was texting a lot immediately before the incident and something was “not right,” made the whole situation seem pretty fishy.

During an interview with police, Siegel confessed he had planned the attack to impress his date, but that it “just got really out of hand.” According to KAIT, his knife wounds were self-inflicted – so yeah, I’d call that pretty out of hand.

As for his date, well, she told KAIT she didn’t find Siegel’s botched attempt at saving her from a fake knife attack particularly heroic. Needless to say, there won’t be a second date.