It’s no secret that, in North America at least, young girls tend to have a more difficult time with math than young boys. Whether it’s because boys’ natural tendency to be impulsive helps them solve math problems, or because female teachers pass their math anxiety on to their female students, or because teachers rate girls’ math abilities as being worse than they actually are, society has recognized that something must be done to help girls succeed in mathematics.

That something is definitely not Hairmath.

Hairmath is… uh… well, I’m not really sure what it is. According to the Hairmath website, it’s a book written by Irene Smalls that attempts to make math more accessible to young girls by applying it to (what else?) hairstyling.

When I first stumbled across the site, I thought to myself, I guess this isn’t so bad. Hairstyling is, in some ways, related to geometry and angles. And while it’s somewhat patronizing, if tying the two subjects together gets girls interested in math, I’m all for it. Everyone knows it’s easier to learn something when it’s interesting and applicable to the learner.

And then I watched the videos.

I don’t even know where to begin here. For starters, why is the first video narrated by that annoying Fred kid from Youtube? And why is the second video narrated by a woman talking in a baby voice? Can young women not understand normal adult voices? I desperately want to believe this whole thing is a too-real attempt at satire, but sadly, it’s not.

Not that I’ve ever “had a head for math,” as these videos would say, but I honestly believe that watching them has caused my brain to defensively repress any knowledge of math I may have once possessed. I have officially forgotten how to count. Thanks, Hairmath!