You’ve probably heard about the boyfriend pillow – a pillow shaped like half a man’s a torso and one arm, designed to provide an analogue for intimacy.

But the boyfriend pillow isn’t the only stuffed substitute for a living, breathing partner. Check out these four other pillow partners:
 

The girlfriend pillow

 

The girlfriend pillow is the spiritual counterpart to the boyfriend pillow. Like its mate, the girlfriend pillow consists of a disembodied torso and one arm. The difference between the two is obvious: the girlfriend pillow has two round, stuffed protrusions that are meant to function as breasts (and a Simpsons yellow hand, for some reason). While no one can argue that real-life breasts do make excellent pillows, somehow I don’t think these stuffed half-oranges are going to cut it.
 

The Edward Cullen pillow

 

Are you even surprised this exists? Look at his face. Why would you want to snuggle with someone who looks that pissed? I’ll never understand you, Twihards.
 

The girlfriend lap pillow

 

The girlfriend lap pillow is just what it sounds like: a pillow designed to simulate the look and feel of sleeping with your head in a kneeling woman’s lap. It’s from Japan, obviously. That’s all I need to say.
 

The Hugvie

 

What the hell, Japan. Oddity Central describes the Hugvie as a “huggable robotic pillow-phone.” Basically, the hugvie is a robot-pillow that interfaces with a mobile phone. It has a heartbeat and “internal vibrators” that vary in power based on the tone of the conversation. The idea is that you hug the Hugvie as you talk to a loved one on your phone, and the vibration of the robot simulates the intimacy of actually being with that person.

Here’s a video of the Hugvie in action:

You know what? I’ll just stick with my plain old pillow, thanks.